The past few weeks, having finished the big thing that took up six years, I’ve ended up thinking about the future, which is a bit of a weird feeling. Since having ME I have learned that future plans never really happen the way you want them to, so I’ve sort of ended up having a ‘live in the moment’ way of thinking because at least then you don’t get disappointed when these plans fall through.
When I was first ill I had all these plans, to go to a physical university and get a degree, then maybe work as a graphic designer and just stay in that field and work my way up. Then I couldn’t do my AS and A levels, didn’t have the energy to do a BTEC in design and wouldn’t have managed to go through a normal university education. Those were my main plans and they were big but even the smaller things, going to live concerts, parties and even school trips and things weren’t really the best idea. I ended up having to cancel a few times on the night, I remember getting to a gig venue a couple of times and just feeling too weak to go inside so I had to go home. I did eventually learn about resting and recovery time but I think all the disappointments kind of taught me to not be too worried about plans and not make anything too far in the future.