This is probably another not really ME post but it kind of is. As I’ve said in a few posts (sorry if it’s a bit repetitive) I have finished my degree, the official cut-off for the final project was noon on Tuesday and now it’s just the waiting for the result. It’s a bit of a weird feeling having finished something that took 6 years of my life, it’s a bit of a ‘what now?’ kind of feeling. Then there’s the really great feeling of a new beginning and actually being able to do things again.
For the past 6 years I’ve had to make sure I didn’t do so much that it would affect my ME when I was working on courses. I probably missed out on doing so many things but I think it was worth it with the degree at the end and the feeling of having accomplished something. Now I don’t have to worry about whether going shopping means I won’t be able to finish my assignment. I’m not going to go over the top, I still know my limits and can tell when I need to stop or keep going if whatever it is is worth the after-effects.
The ‘what now’ feeling is a bit odd. I guess since I’ve been ill I’ve had one thing or another to aim for, mainly school things and qualifications, so now it’s like the big goal is gone and I don’t really have another one. I can’t work at the moment, I can’t really live on my own either so it’s a bit like the couple of years between sixth form and starting my degree work. I didn’t do much then but I was a lot worse ME wise so I couldn’t go out or really do that much. Sometimes it feels worse when my brain is feeling good, I feel positive and like I can do things but my body can’t. That probably makes no sense but it seemed like for years my brain was so fuzzy I almost didn’t notice not being able to do things but now my concentration is better I feel like I should be doing more.
I guess the new beginning thing kind of follows on from that, for some reason at the moment I really feel like doing a big sort out. Look through my clothes, my makeup, everything really, and just de-clutter it all. I’ve always been a sort of organised mess person and hoarded bits but I think that decluttering will probably help with keeping everything more organised and tidier which might help with my health if I’m not having to take the long route in my room because I have half sorted boxes of things on the floor. I’m going to have another look at my goals, see what I should change and see if I’ve managed to do the ones I set (I’m pretty sure I’ve slipped up on a couple already) and have a goal for the end of the year.
One of the things I’m going to do is actually get my posts done in the day, maybe even schedule them in advance, then I’m not going to be up at eleven adding photos and publishing it. I started this blog nearly a year ago and I didn’t think I’d be posting as often as I do already, didn’t think I’d be doing that many reviews and it’s be more of a lifestyle blog but it kind of evolved and I love the community so I’ve ended up spending more time doing this and I want it to grow more, get better at it, and finally do that header I said I’d do November last year!
I’m also going to actually get going properly on my jewellery making company. I did start up the facebook page but it’s kind of been left un-updated while I’ve been working on this project so now I’ll be adding more to that and when it’s good enough and I have enough to actually show people I might post it on here. I just have to see if the people at learn direct who want me to make a business plan agree it’s worth setting it up. If not it’ll probably be something as a hobby that makes a bit of money but not a real job so I’ll have to think of something else to do to actually become a bit more independent.
I guess this is a bit of an update post, it meant to be more about ME in the start but my brain is still recovering from all the last minute late nights. Maybe I’ll do a better one next week a bit like this but that actually says what I plan it to. This might actually be a week with a post every day, haven’t done that in a while.